@hannah_drury this is my favourite!
via DestroyTwitter
sitting in the gutter, looking at the stars
I'm part of a crack super-power team fighting evil.
Our tough guy (a rock-type character) has smashed through the asphalt on an intersection to try to turn off a gas and water catastrophe in the pipes underneath.
When he comes up, he smells weird, and later that afternoon he starts to battle his own personal demons - he's being haunted? Posessed? Something is definitely wrong with him anyway. As he slowly descends into violent madness, we realise that the smell comes from sausagemeat. Aliens have planted transormative sausagemeat underground - as soon as it touched bare skin it converts people into wild raging beasts.
We realise the extent of the problem is severe. Its too late to stop the sausagemeat from spreading all over the world.
I am in the hospital now - a sprawling place in the middle of the dry outer suburbs - all on the ground floor. There are no stairs or lifts so that wheelchair access is available easily at all points.
An explosion - the aliens have started their attack and we have to escape. I think back to the last time this happened. I look around me - everyone here is a survivor of the first attack and we thought the aliens had left us. They are brutal and unrelenting. I run towards the car with my team (Chris L, @hirsutegent and one other - Rosie?). Matt and I get halfway across the parking lot when the machines bare down on the hospital and we have to run back inside. I hope we can track Chris and the car as they make their way out. I wonder if anyone will escape the decimation.
Running towards the boundary of the hospital. Through fences. Over an exposed tennis court and looking up into the hills to where there might be ground cover or an old house to hide in. Hoping there may be shelters built underground as a precaution after the last attack. Maybe we'll be lucky.
I beg @hirsutegent to please be quiet as we get to the fence on the far end of the tennis court. Please don't plug your phone in now! Lets be stealthy about this! Come on! Looking over at the snaking traffic jam trying to get away... here come a flood of emergency vehicles back the other way - are they really going to be able to put out the fires and tend to the victims?
Someone has repurposed the twitter snow aggregator to follow alien sightings - we are looking on the phone to decide which way to go. We didn't have this technology last time - now we're not quite so blind...
Up into the hills at dusk, heading towards the trees and possible safety.
AWAKE
Elbow's new single is all about guilt holding you back from being truly creative individuals and reaching your true potential.
I have a realisation that I'm in a circle of moral friends, who are all creative but heavinly feel guilt and obligation. We decide to go about breaking that cycle and letting ourselves free.
I'm at Ali McK's house. He has a "life chart" a whiteboard with his goals mapped to timings. I draw all over it in pen with my own goals. He shows me how he plots his life points. We're drinking beer on his balcony - a little thing overlooking Darlinghurst. His block of units backs onto a beach, and from the back window I can see the multi-million-pound apartment that I often dream of (the one on top of the University arthouse cinema on the peir, just around the corner from the train station). I wonder who's living there now?
As my first act of guilt-free living I sleep with Ali's dad. He's pretty non-descript, about 52 and a bit like a Hugh Grant gone wrong with longer hair. I scream "THIS MEANS NOTHING TO ME!" and he does the same. It is, indeed, somewhat liberating.
I go for a walk with ALi around Darlinghurst - showing him and other friends where I used to live. I can't find the house that's often in my dreams (I'm either renting it, or I can't get the money together to rent or buy it, or I used to live there and then its rented to someone else). The one with the gigantic flats that are like mazes inside. The one I love - with teh garden that backs onto the sea or the cove. Sometimes I go there just to watch the cricket on teh pitch between the house and the sea. Last time I was there it needed some repairs - it had damp.
There it is! up on the hill! Only a shell left - with tourists going up the iron spiral staircase to look over teh wreckage. We get into the basement and look towards the sea - its right there, lapping at the high windows. Right up to the foundations and beyond! Its some a long way quickly, i think! A tour guide is pointing out the features of the house beside us.
We have £500k to buy properties in all the key Peroni markets. The properties need to represent the brand pillars - its a shame this one is done for.
We see a place at Warren Lake (somewhere in the SA desert, or maybe QLD) for £527k. Wondering why its so expensive - it IS in the middle of Australia after all. Its right by a highway - a small cracked concrete drive going into a salty lake and that's it. Not even a house. Only a roadside fruit and vegetable seller in a shack. And a bus stop (the busses used to come along here, but it looks like their route has changed).
We are swimming in the water. There is a rope swing and I take a HUGE running swing at it - its on a pulley so you can slide way out and take a massive run-up. I let go and plunge into the water. I thought salty water meant that you were supposed to float, but no! I sink like a stone to the bottom - I can't move my limbs and its a lot deeper than I thought. Finally I hit the bottom and use it to launch myself back up. I come to the top - very surprised but not as out of air as I thought I'd be.
AWAKE
A movie. Sometimes I'm in it, sometimes I'm watching it.
Liv Tyler is a young, naive society woman who gets swept up into a marriage with a rather handsome brunette suit.
He hides a secret, he is secretly completely obsessed with her. He put her on a pedestal - and he becomes so possessive of her that he beats her and won't let her leave their house. To cover up, he hires a body double to take out on social occasions (who is sometimes blonde and sometimes me), so that no-one sees Liv's bruises. The body double is well-paid to keep quiet, and begins to resemble Liv more.
Liv becomes a prisoner in the house, and resorts to plastic surgery for the obsessive attention that she now craves (as the husband has removed all other meaning in her life by trapping and beating her).
As time goes on, which is the real wife? Liv is trapped in the house - now almost ignored, and looking scary from too much surgery as the husband and body double enjoy a great life in the outside world. Maybe one time they go on holiday with friends together. They sleep in the same bed. They might even make love.
Which is the real wife now? What has happened?
AWAKE
I was skiing on the tropical island - over the grass. Down the hill, straight to the coast.
I had been to the coast before - beautiful sandy beaches and a promenade much like Bondi Beach. Last time I was there it had been closed over winter - all the shops had been shuttered. This time felt like early Spring and was starting to get vibrant. To the left I noticed the big pavilion - a flat concrete place that feels a bit like a 70s photo.
The next week I'm skiing down the hill again - this time with Matt S and Ali McK. They start heading to the right hand side of the island, to ski down the wildlife track. We are going to see Stalin's last speech, at the pavilion. I know that they are taking the long way round, but want them to explore and try out their own way, so I stay shtum and follow behind them.
By the time we get to the bottom of the hill, at the top end of the beach, we are running seriously late. Finally arriving at the pavilion and taking off our skis, we walk up to the door but the bouncer stops us. Stalin started 10 minutes ago and they're not letting any latecomers in. We have to sneak in the back way, and settle down just in time for him to say "thankyou" and get off the stage.
I felt a little annoyed, but at least I got to see something.
AWAKE
I was working with Yasmine, and she put out her hands in front of me. I was amazed to see that her fingers were made of fat and delicious-looking potato croquettes. I took a bite of her fingers. They were delicious. AWAKEDREAM:
I cracked an egg into a bowl, separating the yolk from the white through my fingers. Placing the yolk in a small glass bowl with vinegar, it moved slowly around and I realised that it had dark flashes across it. It kept moving and I had the horrible realisation that I was looking at a chicken foetus - almost ready enough to be born and survive but not quite. Half bald, half with dark brown feathers (especially up over the bridge of its forehead and around its eye like an eyebrow) i lifted it out of the bowl. I hugged it (it had grown to the size of a small child). It said to me :hold me mummy, keep me warm". I was heartbroken, knowing it was too young to survive for much longer, but tried to give it as much love and comfort as I could while it slowly died in my arms and went still.DREAM:
AWAKE
I was so proud. Matt S. and myself had invented an entirely new way of shopping from M&S, at LBi. I went along to the launch night. It was at this club that I often dream about, with an indoor grassy dancefloor similar to the Horden Pavillion, plus an amazing spiral bar upstairs - all made of wooden panels.
Everyone was already dancing in the dark - outside and inside... and upstairs was heaving. I walked up to the grass and handed over my shoping list. Moving upstairs, I ordered two glasses of brilliant £5-a-glass champagne. One for me and one from an LBi girl that worked on the project. I was so pleased.
As I left they handed me my groceries. What a great service we've invented I thought. Total genius.
AWAKE
